I recently received a comment from a reader that I thought was worth sharing as I agree with many of her points, however I feel that she and many others out there are still missing the point. I am not a “hater”, and have nothing but sympathy and compassion for the Gosselin family, and I feel the same is likely true for the other bloggers out there. Its amazing to me that there is such a divide between viewers of this show, and that the situation evokes such strong emotions for either side of the debate. While I agree that no one is perfect, and it isn’t fair or right to cast judgement, it is our responsibility as a society to look out for the welfare of all children (not just our own!).
I am not posting this comment below to “call out” the poster, nor do I believe there is a right or a wrong opinion here. I am simply hoping to encourage healthy debate and encourage you to join in to the discussion as well. As well, if you would like to contribute to the site as a guest author, please contact me at steph@jonminus9.com
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Tammy writes:
“This whole situation is sad. Its easy to judge a situation when you are not involved. Usually, and unfortunately the assumptions about people made by strangers are wrong and happen to be very destructive to the people they are about. This is a real family with real kids that will have to deal with all of this for the rest of thier lives. Even when things die off they will always be reminded in some way of what happened because people can be very cruel. I have read so many blogs and read so many articles written by people fueled with hate and making sure everything they have done wrong is publically known. But you know what, in all actuality every person, every family has faults and skeletons in thier closets. No family is exempt and if anyone tries to claim otherwise they are liars. Like the old saying goes, “Those who live in glass houses should not cast the first stone”. I am sure everyone of us could be scruntinized and be found guilty of doing something wrong in raising your family. We are human. We make mistakes. Instead of extending hate, how about extending help to this family if thier life and those kids are so important to all these judging strangers. Most of the people forcing thier ill opinions on this family will claim to be good christians, or whatever faith they believe in and I am sure JUDGEMENT does not look kindly in anyone’s faith. Its unfortunate that this part of thier lives has to be so public. Whether they are in compliance or not should not reflect them as parents or people. The kids are obviously well taken of by them. Its the public that is being destructive to these kids. They are the ones endangering thier welfare. Ironically its the ones pointing the fingers at Jon and Kate. So many families have marital problems and sometimes get divorced. That does not make them any less of a parent and it shouldn’t be in this case either. How would we like to be picked apart like this and have our kids subjected judgement and cruelty; having people trying to peek through our blinds and follow us through stores; having to worry every second our children are in school that no one tries to something stupid to them because of a marital issue with mommy and daddy. Whatever happens with this family should be left between them privately to deal with. Lets remind ourselves of what our faith tells us we should do when it comes to casting judgement and hatred to anyone. “Just my opinion””
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Hi Tammy,
While I completely agree with you that we all make mistakes (I am sure if I had millions of people tuning in to watch me parent on a weekly basis, it wouldn’t be perfect!), its not the day to day parenting of these children that is at question or whether or not Jon and Kate are loving and that these children are being provided for.
Jon and Kate Gosselin CHOSE to have cameras come in, they CHOSE to be scrutinized. The children have NO CHOICE. They cannot say “Please, I do not like everyone in America knowing everything about me. I do not want my friends and schoolmates watching me learn how to potty train.” You say that it is the public that is being destructive to these children. I 100% agree! So, Jon and Kate, shut the public out! I do not judge how Jon and Kate parent, but I do feel that these children are being EXPLOITED AGAINST THEIR WILL. I have no hatred towards this family, but a great deal of sympathy.
When I flip through the TV guide listings, I see more and more children suffering the same fate as TLC and other stations profit. Shows such as 18 Kids and Counting, Table for 12, and now even Nadya Suleman (mother of octuplets and sextuplets) will be getting her own show. All of a sudden these families of multiples are creeping out of the woodwork to sell their children for 15 minutes of fame.
I have no doubt that when these parents were first approached to do these shows, they had only the best of hopes and intentions for their families. Yes, the Gosselins now live in a beautiful home and Jon and Kate can stay at home and raise their children if they choose. But at what cost? Now that America is witnessing the damage that such exposure can have on a family, shouldn’t we be saying enough is enough and not developing MORE of these reality tv shows?? Its obvious that we as viewers do not have enough sense to stop watching, the drama is actually causing MORE people to watch, which in turn has caused TLC to order more episodes, which in turn will hurt these children even further. What needs to happen is for these television producers to see and read enough public outrage that they finally decide to stop pimping out these families.
Tammy, the more public awareness and anger exists about this issue, the better the chances that parents of multiples out there (or any parents) who are charged with the greatest responsibility of all, protecting their children, will read this and say “Hmm, maybe the rewards here don’t outweigh the risks”, or a television production company will say “No, we do not feel the need to profit off of the misery of others and exploit the most vulnerable of our society”.
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#1 by Bible Breeder at June 24th, 2009
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Kate demands we all chip in to help her out.
“society has a responsibility to help with the children, since modern medicine promotes the use of fertility drugs, which can lead to multiple births”.
Modern medicine also suggested selective reduction, you hypocrite.
#2 by Slum Dawg at June 23rd, 2009
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The simple fact is that these parents sold out their family privacy to cash in. I think it’s inconsequential whether things worked out well or end in disaster.
Furthermore, their decision to have all these kids was equally poor, and personally I think their family would have self destructed even without the tv show pressures. They could have considered themselves fortunate after the first set of twins and had a ‘normal’ family. There is an underlying element of greed here that extends well below the surface we see on the show.
You might think it would be nice if everybody wasn’t so judgemental, but the fact is it is human nature and I think to some degree necessary for society – it helps keep things in check. And if people are concerned or bothered by that, then the last thing they ought to do is point the spotlight on themselves. Whether you believe it or not, you also are being judgemental – you can’t say they exploitit their kids and then claim not to point your finger at them. No to mention it is pretty clear you do not approve of the situation, yet keep your thoughts “private”.
It is too bad for the kids, but I’m sorry, damage has already been done and unfortuantely even more is yet to come. What really makes me mad is that at some point this family’s self destruction will require more resources than the show generated, probably leading to a deduction from my paycheck to help pay for the treatment they will undoubtedly need.
#3 by Tammy at June 22nd, 2009
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Thank you Steph!
I hope it cleared up what I was trying to say. If not, I would be more than happy to restate the point in a better way. Just reading a pont is up to interpretation of the reader. And you are absolutely right, everyine has right to thier opinion and the right to “freedom of speech”. With that right, you have to take the good with the bad. In fact, I chose to express my opinion on this site because this site happens to me the more factual instead of opinionated which I appreciate. That is why I thought your readers would appreciate my blog rather than some of the others.
#4 by Steph at June 22nd, 2009
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Hi again Tammy!
I really appreciated that you had taken the time to comment on my blog, and express your opinion! Freedom of speech remains a solid pillar of our society, and healthy discussion should not be apologized for!
I sincerely hope you will continue to express your opinions and fight for your beliefs
Steph
#5 by Tammy at June 22nd, 2009
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Hi, this Tammy again. I think I was greatly misunderstood. I just want to clear up a few points. I never directed anything to anyone person as far as hatred. What I said was,”I have read a lot of articles and blogs” – Not necessarily here on this site. Just in general. I don’t mind the facts being stated, just the added “words” about they feel about a person is destructive. Truth be told, there are alot of articles, blogs, and TV segments fueling hatred to this family. I just like many people do not agree with how they are putting thier kids out on display and exploiting them since the time they were born with no privacy at all. It sickens me. However, this is a real family and the kids are being well taken care of otherwise. Judgement is an evil characteristic. I felt comfort knowing that the State of Pennsylvania is investigating the situation. The point I was trying to get across was since they are doing the investigating, what ever Jon and Kate are doing wrong as parents will be taken care of by the state. Adding our judgemental comments to the situation is only being just as bad and just as damaging to these children. If you care about the kids, saying mean things about thier mommy and daddy is not helping anything. Especially since we can all be picked apart in our own lives if the finger was being pointed back at us. Nobody is perfect. If you want to know where I stand in this topic, not to sound like a hypocrite, is I think Kate should treat her husband and children with a softer side (but I am not dealing with 8 kids close in age). I think both Jon and Kate exploit thier children (but I don’t have the weight of trying to feed and clothe 8 kids. I am sure when you are broke trying to raise that many babies and the reality of the expense hits and someone offers you this, it becomes tempting.) But just like anything in life, it is human nature to take any situation the extent of greed and this is where the problem escalates. They became parents of an extremely large family at a very young age. I am sure that alone has put stress on thier relationship. My opinions go on, but I am going to keep them private. The only reason I expressed what I did was to prove a point that all I was trying to express was that let the law do its job and keep the mean comments to ourselves being that this is a real family with real kids who are going to suffer socially and mentally from all of this for a very long time, if not forever. So, “Slum Dawg” (nice name by the way, real classy), all I was trying to say is Judgement is damaging, I don’t like the situation either, but ther are so many levels to this and judement can be very damaging, so maybe any hurtful comments like putting thier mommy down with nasty names can be kept private because it hurts the kids. So “Slum Dawg” if you want to prove how classy you are by putting me down, so be it. Its obvious then you completely missed the point and you are insulting your own inteligence then. In case you missed that point, by throwing insults out without understanding the facts proves yourself to be the less inteligent/classy. Insults and judements like I said are destructive. I don’t mind the facts being stated, but adding how much of b*%ch someone is just not necessary. So I humbly apologize to anyone who misunderstood the point I was trying to make or if anyone thought I was pointing the finger at them, because I wasn’t. I hope I cleared up what I was trying to say. If not, I would be more than happy to correct anything I said.
My apologies from the bottom of my heart,
Tammy
#6 by Slum Dawg at June 22nd, 2009
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I think Tammy and Kate have a lot in common. And I mean that in the worst way possible.
#7 by Interested at June 13th, 2009
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I do agree, these children have no say in what is happening to their lives. AND it does seem like Kate is more running the show than Jon. From just what little I have seen it seems like if Jon would say “I’ve had enough, shut the cameras off”, Kate would chew him up and spit him out!!! THATS just the impression SHE gives to everyone!!! So that is why I think SHE is the one with the attitude!!